+--------------------------------------------------------------+ | Welcome to Hypatia's Story Archive | | http://hypatia.slashcity.org/slash/ | | Copyright Notice and Disclaimer | | http://hypatia.slashcity.org/slash/notice.html | +--------------------------------------------------------------+ 4.22.02 Title: TOS Legends: Genesis Author: Hypatia Kosh Series: TOS Pairing: K/S Rating: PG-13 Why: Just because Archive: Sure Feedback: athena_sappho at yahoo.com Summary: Kirk and Spock play Abraham and Sarah in this irreverent retelling of books 12 and 20 of Genesis. Author's Note: I was just thinking to myself, "Self, there isn't hardly any K/S fic being posted to this group. What are you going to do about it?" But instead of doing anything about it, I instead got this wonderful, awful idea -- steal plots from the Bible! If you think the following is bad, wait till I do my rewrite of David/Saul/Jonathan with Kirk/Sarek/Spock (no, that is not a pairing!) . . . The original version (KJV) I was working from can be found here: http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/gen/index.html TOS Legends: Genesis Chapter 12 12:1 Now the Lord Admiral had said unto Captain Kirk, Get thee out of thy homeworld, and from thy kindred, and from thy mother's house, unto a multitude of worlds that I will shew thee: 12:2 And I will make of thee a great legacy, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: 12:3 And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all Starfleet Officers of the Federation be blessed. 12:4 So Kirk departed, as the Lord Admiral had spoken unto him; and Sam his brother went with him: and Kirk was ten and five years old when he departed out of Iowa. 12:5 And Sam and Aurelan his wife settled on Deneva, among the Denebians, and prospered. 12:6 And in the twenty-third year of his service Kirk took Spock his bondmate, and all the souls that journeyed with them and they went forth to go into the space of the Telerites; and into the system of the Telerites they came. 12:7 And the Lord Admiral appeared unto Kirk, and said, go thou forth, for thou mayest not give thy men shore leave here. 12:8 And Kirk removed from thence unto a moon of Andor, and flew the Enterprise into its orbit, having Andor below them, and Hai above them: and there he sent a message unto the Lord Admiral, and called upon the name of the Lord Admiral. 12:9 And Kirk journeyed, going on still toward the Beta Quadrant. 12:10 And there was a famine on Coridan: and Kirk went down into Q'em to negotiate a trade agreement between them and the Federation; for the famine was grievous in the land. 12:11 And it came to pass, when he was come near to enter the transporter room to beam down to Q'em, that Spock his bondmate said unto him, Behold now, I know that thou art a fair man to look upon: 12:12 Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Q'emites shall see thee, that they shall say, we shall sell grain to thee in exchange for certain favors. 12:13 Say, I pray thee, thou art my brother, for the sake of thy crew; for the Q'emites have a superstitious respect for marriage but none at all for the free. 12:14 And it came to pass, that, when Kirk was come into Q'em, the Q'emites beheld the man that he was very fair. 12:15 The cabinet also of the Executive saw him, and commended him before Executive: and the man was taken into the Executive mansion. 12:16 And she entreated the Federation well for his sake: and she kicked some political ass to fast-track the treaty legislation; but when the grain was delivered she would not let Kirk go. 12:17 And the Lord Admiral plagued the Executive and her administration with great bureaucratic plagues because of Kirk Spock's husband. 12:18 And the Executive called Spock and said, What is this that thou hast done unto me? why didst thou not tell me that he was thy bondmate? 12:19 Why saidst thou, He is my brother? so I might have taken him to me to husband: now therefore behold *thy* husband, take him, and go thy way. 12:20 And the Executive commanded her men concerning him: and they sent Spock away, and Kirk, with the promised grain. Chapter 20 20:1 And Kirk journeyed from thence toward the Orion country, and patrolled the border its breadth and width. 20:2 And Kirk said of Spock his bondmate, He is my brother: and Abimelech Captain of the Orion ship Gerar sent, and took Spock. 20:3 But God* came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the Vulcan which thou hast taken; for he is a man's husband. *The God of the Orions, known by the tertagram MGM. 20:4 But Abimelech had not come near him: and he said, LORD, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation? 20:5 Said he not unto me, He is my brother? and he, even he himself said, He is my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this. 20:6 And God said unto him in a dream, Don't try to snow me with sheer fucktitude; as long as he is your hostage you shall not lay a hand on him, lest I strike thy forehead and confound thee. 20:7 Now therefore restore the Vulcan his mate; for Kirk is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore him not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine 20:8 Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his officers, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid. 20:9 Then Abimelech called Kirk, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done. 20:10 And Abimelech said unto Kirk, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing? 20:11 And Kirk said, Because I thought, Surely respect for individual rights is not in this place; and if they know my true relationship with him, they will try to use him to capture me as well. 20:12 And yet indeed he is my brother, by Vulcan custom, if not by blood. 20:13 And it came to pass, when Starfleet caused me to wander the stars, that we said to one another, This is thy kindness which thou shalt shew unto me; at every place whither we shall come, say of me, He is my brother. 20:14 And Abimelech took several tons of his stolen cargo, and gave them unto Kirk, and restored him Spock his husband. 20:15 And Abimelech said, Behold, my domain is before thee: free passage is granted thee. 20:16 And unto Spock he said, Behold, thou art some sort of witch to give me these frightful dreams, although I have not touched thee. 20:17 So Kirk made a show of praying unto God: and God "healed" Abimelech's ship and they were able to go into warp. 20:18 For Spock had fubar'ed the computer control for the warp drive while on the Gerar, so that Kirk would be able to rescue him. THE END (for now)