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Author: Hypatia Kosh
Title: Satellites and Orbits
Series: TOS
Codes: K/S
Rating: PG-13
Summary: What can a chess game tell you about Kirk and Spock's
relationship?

For K'Sal.

-_|-+_|\_/-_ SATELLITES AND ORBITS


It was well-known on the Enterprise that one of Spock's favorite
pastimes was to play chess against the computer.

Since he inevitably lost these matches, save those that ended in
stalemate, to most observers it seemed a futile endeavor, and aided in
the general perception that Vulcans were not quite right in the head.

To Spock it seemed no stranger than spending hours playing Tetris,
since one must, inevitably, lose every match one begins. The
distinction was simply a matter of scoring.

Captain Kirk understood this well, being of a sort who preferred the
measured complexity of chess to the deceptive simplicity of Tetris.
But, unlike Spock, Kirk naturally preferred to play any game
head-to-head, and if no chess set were available, a two-player Tetris
match would do.

Fortunately there was an adequate supply of chess sets on the
Enterprise. The first officer saw to that.

It could be said that captain and first officer had become friends over
the chess set; at any rate this is what they themselves believed.
Somehow chess led to conversation and conversation led to Discussions
and Discussions led to heated passions, lost games and demands for
rematches. Alternatively conversations might lead to flirtation, which
led to distraction, which led to blown games and requests to be
excused.

Whatever the outcome, they were never boring.

Kirk liked to win, of course. When he had time he would catch up on
chess journals and study strategy. He also was a student of history and
took the tactics of great generals as inspiration. Convinced that chess
was as much a mental game as, well, anything else, he devoted his best
effort into devising ways of gulling his opponent into a trap.

Spock, on the other hand, treated the chess game like a classic
algorithm problem. While he played the computer he simultaneously
attempted to attack the mathematical problem using the game before him
as a conceptualization tool, and tested his program's ability to play
the game.

The original, baseline program had used a brute-force method combined
with a few simple rules to ensure that the computer never lost, but
after that initial version had been perfected he had experimented with
a wide variety of approaches. The "Deep Blue" team of yore would have
been proud.

Kirk knew that a good deal of Spock's leisure hours were spent
"playing" at chess. Spock's industriousness even at rest was a trait
Kirk found charming. Lately, however, Kirk had been trying to encourage
Spock to consider other leisure activities, of the two-player variety.

Kirk had experienced a change of thought regarding opponents and
stratagems. It could not be said that they had exhausted each other's
usefulness as opponents--for in fact Spock was astonishingly
intelligent and Kirk could not hope to outclass him, only match him.
Rather, they were no longer in a position to marshall their full
resources against each other. Their lives were intricately interwoven,
one might say bound . . .

It was not something Kirk exactly understood. Certainly, his memories
of assuaging and riding out Spock's Fever were clear enough, and the
certainty that he would be drawn to Spock in his next Time was a
straight-forward matter. It was the ways in which the bond was changing
every other aspect of his life that was only gradually becoming
apparent.

As Kirk saw it, he and Spock were a team. An alliance, even. But this
bond seemed to change the nature of their relationship, such that they
were no longer two entities cooperating towards a shared set of goals,
but rather one entity drawing on two different skillsets. Or to state
the matter more crudely, you can't gull a Vulcan when he's reading your
mind.

This made games rather futile. Kirk quickly discovered that he had
counter-ammunition; concentrating on images that Spock found
distracting for one reason or another proved highly disruptive, and the
ordered chess game soon dissolved into anarchy.

Poor Spock. Kirk could clearly perceive that Spock was still trying to
solve the problem of the chess game, and was convinced that Kirk had
intuited some sort of high level algorithm, which explained his ability
to win. Spock could not restrain himself from trying to gain insight on
how Kirk played the game, and as Kirk's strategy relied more on
psychology than mathematics, Spock's act of observation nullified it,
leading to much frustration for both parties.

Kirk considered posting a sign in the rec room:
Note to physicists:
Please do not collapse wave functions in the Rec Room.
Thank you.
--Mgmt.

Kirk had come to the conclusion that they no longer had any choice but
to both play on the same side, unless Spock perchance wanted to play
for fun and restrained his need to analyze and therefore cheat. The
loss of the chess matches weighed heavily on Kirk, however. Not only
would he miss the conversation and companionship, he knew of how little
off-duty social activity Spock partook and it was far from a salutary
level, even for a Vulcan.

He had decided, given the logic of the situation, that the only fair
thing to do would be to propose an alternate activity, one that allowed
for interaction, competition, conversation and possibly Discussions and
flirting. You can well guess which activity they had in mind. It was
one which they had not hesitated to enjoy in the past, albeit on an
irregular basis.

Spock had been somewhat diffident about it after the pon farr and Kirk,
for his part, being far less certain of his standing after the entire
Vulcan incident than before it, chose not to press the matter. At any
rate sex had been only an occasional thing, so why get greedy?

The more thought Kirk gave to the matter, however, the less sense his
decision made. Just as Spock had no future without him, so he had no
future without Spock. And if he was with Spock, then Spock was the one
he was with.

Kirk enjoyed this kind of logic, however much it made Spock cringe. For
Spock's benefit, however, it was necessary to state one's case in
Vulcan logic, which could have been reverse Polish logic for all Kirk
cared, but he could pull some out of his back pocket when called upon.

So Kirk boiled down the proposition to this:
They were bonded
They were both sexual beings
There is only one path
Kirk was confident that Spock would respond well to this logic as he
could well see the wastefulness and harm in the one entity, the bonded
pair, attempting to function as two entities with different schedules
and priorities.

There would be no separation. There was only one path, one worldline
proceeding forward in time from the Bonding.

It so happened that Kirk finally figured it all out not while Spock was
pulling extra shifts in the lab or compiling monthly reports, but
during the middle of one of his chess marathons with the computer. Kirk
found the coincidence most appropriate.

Spock would later opine that it was not a coincidence at all. He seemed
entirely unsurprised when Kirk came into the rec room and approached
him.

Kirk's enthusiasm was more intense than expected; it distracted him
from the game. The warmth of Kirk's mind had slid up right next to him
and stayed there, causing a remarkably pleasant sensation even though
they sat a respectful distance apart.

Spock proceeded quickly with the match until he reached a stalemate. He
was conscious of Kirk observing him both from the outside and inside.

Kirk felt vindicated by their easy merging, the soft flow of minds no
longer separated; an almost-physical sensation of touch.

Kirk propped his chin on his hands and said, "A penny for your
thoughts?"

Naturally, Spock's first thought was whether he could exploit the use
of this idiomatic phrase to demand a specimen of antique coinage from
Kirk.

He would have voiced this thought, but he was aware that Kirk had
perceived it, and was smiling at it.

Spock did not find this unpleasant, but it was apparent that their mode
of interaction would have to change. Their conversation had been like
two gears with interlocking cogs turning smoothly, but now their
thoughts bled into each other like dye in a basin of water.

"Jim," Spock said, because he liked to say the name, "I have been
contemplating Earth's moon."

"What about it? Are you thinking about how it's wasted on us illogical
humans? Or maybe you were scheming to use it as a galactic bowling
ball?" Kirk knew this was rather lame, but the comment had been
unexpected and therefore he hadn't had any witty comebacks prepared.

Spock was quite tolerant of the lapse, brightening at being drawn into
a more familiar conversational pattern.

"Not at all. Rather, I was thinking about the past."

"Tell me."

Spock steepled his fingers before him. "As you know, the planet Vulcan
has no moon. When I was young, Earth's moon was one of its most exotic
and intriguing features."

Spock paused, and sat back in his chair. Kirk was hunched over the
table leaning towards him, listening--and not only with his physical
senses.

"I came to Earth to stay when I enrolled at Starfleet Academy. I became
familiar with moon cycles and quickly decided to research the subject.
I learned how to predict lunar cycles, moon rise and fall, and tides."

Spock felt that amusement from Jim as quickly as he saw it on his face.

"I was a bit of a junior astronomer too, once, but I never had much
truck with tides." His eyes gleamed. "Landlubber," he explained.

Spock's eyes narrowed. "As I recall, your place of origin is a
land-locked state . . ."

"We have a better sea, the prairie. Have you ever seen it? The wind
whips through the grasses and they look like the crests of waves in the
sunlight."

"I have seen pictures," Spock said slowly, with some regret.

"Some day I'll show you." This reminded Kirk of the ultimate purpose of
the conversation. But why the moon? "Let me guess what happened: when
you came to the International Astronomical Union with your brilliant
and useful charts, they explained to you that not only did they already
have them but they have schedules of eclipses for thousands of years in
every direction, and comets, and meteor showers, and the precession of
the Earth . . ."

"I did not find it any more redundant than any other educational
exercise," Spock gently chided. He shifted his fingers in front of him
as he came to the point. "After some months of moon watching it
occurred to me that the moon was in some measure responsible for your
species' quick ascension to the stars. Your species has barely ten
thousand years of agriculture, and even less history."

"Short compared to whom? I think you're making a meaningless
distinction; each species is unique. But," Kirk put out his hand for
reassurance, "tell me your reasons."

Spock inclined his head in acceptance of the concession. "From the
Earth, the Moon is the most proximate of heavenly objects. Its
geographic features can be discerned by the naked eye. When one looks
upon it, one's thoughts turn ever to space. It is close, not within the
reach of the stature of man, and yet, with some relatively basic
physics at one's command, quite attainable.

"Vulcan has no moon. There is no point from which to turn one's
meditations beyond Vulcan; we are quite insular. And for some four
hundred centuries we were at war with each other."

Kirk found the picture of a young Spock philosophizing about the Moon
rather amusing and cute, but he was quite certain that his sensation of
rapport just a short while earlier pointed to other thoughts. Something
was missing. "Is that all?"

"No." Spock shifted his lanky form. "In the lives of planets, some
satellites are formed in the stellar cloud along with the body they
orbit, and sometimes one heavenly body captures another and they are
locked into orbit. From then on, their worldlines run in tandem."

"Yes," Kirk hissed, all his thoughts rushing into Spock. At last they
completely understood each other.

Spock closed his eyes against the onslaught. At last he regained his
composure. "We are not alone, but we have not merged. We are like two
bodies in orbit. Not contiguous but ever within reach."

"Spock, it's a nice metaphor. But there's a problem. I am not a
lifeless ball of rock. And neither are you."

"Indeed. It surprises me that you have not already taken the chance to
make a pun on ti--"

"--tidal forces?" Kirk grinned broadly. "I'll guess we'll have to get
used finishing each other's sentences--or thoughts, before we have a
chance to-- No wonder Vulcans are so quiet all the time."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

Kirk picked up again, seriously. "I came here to tell you that I know
of a better game that chess."

"Yes, I know. I-- sensed your thoughts. You are quite correct about how
things stand between us."

The free-flowing warmth had been replaced by that same diffidence, Kirk
noted; he could feel Spock closing up. This time he would not be
daunted. "Can we discuss this privately?"

Spock replaced the chessboard and they left the recreation hall for the
officer's deck.

Without conscious thought they gravitated towards Spock's quarters.
Kirk supposed it was because Spock kept the environmental controls set
to a higher temperature.

By the time they were inside, Kirk already knew the reason for Spock's
avoidance of sexual contact. His fear for Kirk's well-being and his
guilt at being the agent of his death formed a knot of negative emotion
which Spock wished to simply avoid. A shallow reason, but perhaps not
as bad as any, but there was something else.

Spock cupped Kirk's face in his hands to deepen the meld. //We cannot
merge. There must be balance. Jim, I do not wish to cause harm.//

//To whom would you be causing harm? I haven't been harmed.//

//To both of us, potentially, should we fail to strike the proper
balance.// Laid before them was Spock's incomplete understanding of
bondings. //We have much to learn from each other. Much to gain from
our different ways.//

//Then perhaps your moon metaphor is not entirely misplaced.// Kirk
visualized the two of them on the same side of the table before a great
three-D chess set and a computer terminal on the other side. //Look,//
Kirk said, and squeezed Spock's hand in the illusion. //We're on the
same side. But ...//

//We are not the same. We remain different--by holding something
back.//

//No! I don't want you to hold anything back.//

//What you want does not seem possible--Jim.// Spock broke the meld.

"In ancient times the moon was a symbol of mystery. It waxed and waned,
died and was reborn." Kirk began to pace. "What we need is a cycle--a
pattern--a schedule--do you see? It's not a matter of having to hold
yourself back--that's just--cutting yourself off from life. You strike
a balance by not giving it all away all the time. I think you're afraid
of the uncertainty, but this way, you take control of it."

"That sounds entirely too simplistic."

"So is the universal law of gravity. I haven't heard you complain about
that."

"That is simple; I said simplistic. The distinction--"

"Spock, Spock! Try to see it from my point of view. Here I am, going
along through life and I meet this man--brilliant, but a bit
difficult--and they make him my first officer, and I have to work with
him day in and day out. And lo and behold we become good friends and I
discover a loving, compassionate, gentle soul behind all that
pragmatism and logic. I fell in love with that man. I've never met
anyone like you before. You're everything I never knew I wanted. Well,
then I find out that you're married, and just as quickly you're not and
I'm getting sodomized by a horny Vulcan who's so out of it he can't
even remember his own name, and then ever since then--well. You never
write, you never call.

"Spock, bingeing and abstaining isn't going to make either of us happy.
Sometimes I almost wish we could go back to the way it was before."

"You miss those encounters."

"You were very . . . sweet, in bed."

"By that I suppose you mean inexperienced and unimaginative."

"Spock," Kirk said fondly, with a mild exasperation. "Just set a
schedule. Set up the dates and times, and the rest of the week you
leave it alone and concentrate on other things."

"And you will not feel the need to subvert this schedule? To 'shake
things up'? I find that humans have an illogical aversion to exercising
any control over their sexuality."

Kirk conceded that it was a fair question. He thought about it for a
bit, and said "As a practical matter, I am human. I think we can both
agree on that. But we couldn't have both risen to positions of
responsibility within this organization if we hadn't taken to
discipline and military schedules. I'm asking you, perhaps, to make a
leap of faith. I don't know that we have any other choice. I do think
there's no reason we can't make this bonding as pleasant and productive
as possible. I'm asking you to trust me, Spock. Will you trust me?" He
held out his hand. "We can make this marriage work."

A warm, dry hand gently enfolded his own.



It was well known on the Enterprise that Spock was the captain's
darling. When they were seen, it was, likely as not, together.

Together they kept the ship running smoothly, and their combined
talents played no small part in the Enterprise's reputation for
success. The crew, who trusted their lives to them, loved them.


Finis